Can creativity help improve our body image?
That’s the question I asked myself the other month. They say it’s good for your health, improves your moods etc, so can it help improve our opinions of our own bodies?
The Back Story
Brace yourself, it’s not a happy one. I dislike my body greatly. I’m small, which apparently is cute, but I don’t want to be cute. I once had someone tell me small people scare them. Which is always pleasant to hear. You see clothes on the models, even models with a diversity in body shapes, and they look fabulous in them, I put them on and I’m squatty. Any bit of weight I put on just adds to an overall round appearance and I’m not aging well. Strike that, I’m simply aging. My body has literally been torn apart by growing and birthing mini humans, cellulite is plastered everywhere, even though I work out regularly and eat well, my arms never seem to want to tone, my frown line is becoming a permanent feature of my life to the point where I just look angry all the time, my eyes are getting saggier, the boobs are dropping further, and I look in the mirror and I just feel like a lump. And that’s just my body, my relationship with my hair is also a fun one.
The thing is, I see the positive quotes, I’ve read body positive books, I follow Lizzo and try and mimic her great body image attitude, I’ve had people come up and randomly ask me if I see myself how God sees me, I’ve also had random people ask if I know my worth. Both bizarre and surreal experiences as if somehow they knew my mind. My husband tells me regularly that I need to be kinder to myself and yet nothing seems to drown out the negative voice of myself.
Enough is enough.
What I did
If we as a western society have been conditioned to believe a certain body shape, look, hair type etc is considered beautiful is it little wonder we think very little of ourselves when it’s too easy, thanks to mirrors and social media, to compare, and when we begin comparing we of course focus on our flaws. Our perceived flaws. And the silly thing is what is perceived as ‘beautiful’ changes all the time, so why are we so focused on it? The other week I realised that without even being conscious of it I’ve been putting too much worth on beauty and how my body looks and not putting enough worth on who I am. I’ve been seeing myself through the worlds lens for far too long, not through God’s, not through my husbands, and especially not through my own.
It isn’t about drowning out that negative voice, it’s learning to change what the voice is saying, so I decided to challenge myself. Every day for the next few weeks I’m going to draw, that’s how I best thrive creatively, it’s how my mind empties itself and focuses in. I’m going to draw what ever comes into my head, draw body parts I wanted to focus in on, and more importantly, I’m changing the script.
Can creativity help improve my body image? Keep on reading to discover my journey.
Week One
How it went
Week one was interesting. I discovered a design style straight away, I didn’t mean to but these colours came into my head and I just decided to run with it. On day 1 I began by giving myself a short, firm instruction. Know Your Worth. Day 2 and I wanted to focus on a piece of me I don’t like, my feet. Just like the rest of me they’re stumpy, unlike the rest of me they have bunions, and the skin gets dry easily so I’m in a fight with moisturiser to keep them nice and soft. I generally hide them, and I hate it when I go to someone’s house and they tell me to take my shoes off because that means they’ll see the bunions and how weird my feet are. So to my feet I began. I sketched the memory of them, a pencil sketch, black and white, harsh like my feelings towards them. Whilst drawing I began to think of all the things my feet go through, they take my weight, they help me run, they let me stand on my tip toes so I can kiss the husband and generally they have to endure a lot. Feet are strong. By the time I had finished the sketch I was ready to celebrate these feet, so I turned them into an illustration and picked up the key word I wanted to celebrate about them.
Day 3 and under instruction of my eldest I focused on my hands, they’re short, they’re stumpy but bizarrely I have no issues with my hands, I generally don’t care about their appearance because I’m always grateful for them. That I found fascinating. There was no need to write a sorry letter for all the harsh things I’ve said to them, or anything of the sort, it was all celebration. I sketched them out like the feet and turned them into a celebration illustration. The same happened on Day 4 focusing on my arms, another part of my body I hate, but by day 5 something strange happened.
I couldn’t pick a body part. I looked through photo after photo of me to seek inspiration and all I could do was cringe over wearing shorts, or showing my arms, and celebrating when they were covered, or I had sunglasses on so you couldn’t see my eyes, or a hat so my rubbish hair wasn’t on show. Then it hit me, I wore clothes not out of love or expression to myself, I covered myself up because I’m ashamed of my body. Hiding it away and feeling so nervous at revealing my flaws to people in summer when the weather meant it was harder to hide away. So I wrote another message. A statement I want to change.
It’s already been a challenging and fascinating week. I’m excited to see what next week brings, and I hope you are too.
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